MARRIAGE | 3 Reasons You May Be Feeling Lonely In Your Marriage

RELATIONSHIPS | LOVE EMBRACE INSPIRE  | by Sethlina Amayke





Loneliness can be defined as a yearning for interaction or connection. Do you know its possible to be lonely while in a marriage? It sounds contradictory but it happens way more often than we know. There are individuals who are surrounded by loving, doting faithful significant others and still feel the heart pains of loneliness.

Here are some reasons you may be feeling lonely within a marriage

1. Obligation
Women will often enter a relationship out of obligation rather then love. There is a weight of responsibility to keep the charade going for family, church, work, or certain social circles.

What you can do about it:

A. Do not marry somebody out of obligation.
Marriage is hard enough on its own and having only 1 side that’s all in isn’t worth it.

B. If you are already in a marriage you didn’t intend to be in, ask God for help.
Jesus has a way of stepping in the gap when it comes to marriage. Instead of feeling obligated, make an effort to CHOOSE your husband. Another idea is taking the time to write down everything you love about him and everything you hate. Purpose to love both lists because that is who he is. Set out to love him simply for being your husband. Choose him regardless of any outside influence.

2. Baggage
Sometimes women haven’t totally dealt with the baggage and are still holding on to  old feelings for an ex. If this is the case, the loneliness comes from not being open enough to be truly connected in the relationship you are currently in. It’s like having one foot in and one foot out.

What you can do about it:

Put down the bags!
If you are holding on to baggage in lieu of your husband, you are in essence in a relationship with the bags. Connect with him by being brutally honest about the feelings. Let him know that sometimes you feel burdened by your past. You would be surprised that a Godly husband will set out to help in any way he can. Seeing a professional to assist with your emotional baggage isn’t a bad idea either!
  
3. Conflict
If either partner doesn’t know how to argue and resolve arguments in a healthy way, it can lead to feelings of being misunderstood, abandoned, or isolated.  The argument never gets resolved and becomes an elephant in the room.

What you can do about it:

Arguments are not the end of the world. Being able to argue fairly and express yourself in a way that makes you feel heard and is healthy is the goal. When your husband voices an opinion, be open to hearing what he has to say and urge him to do the same. Resolve arguments as quickly as possible and learn to not bring it back up after the hatchet has been buried. 

 There is a verse found in Psalms 147: 3 that says, “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” Our God wants to heal your heart and mend broken marriages. Next time you are on your knees, ask God to mend your broken heart. You don’t have to feel lonely especially with a God who thrives on keeping marriages together

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